My Fair Cupcake
|Season = 4 |Antagonist = Vitron |Setting = Greece |In-Universe Date = Year 3 |Production # = V0324 |Filming Dates = 11 February to 19 February 1998 |Original Air-Date = |Written By = Gene O'Neill Noreen Tobin |Story By = |Teleplay By = |Directed By = Rick Jacobson |Order in Series = 77 of 111 |Order in Season = 18 of 22 |Order in Franchise= 148 of 304 |Prev Episode in Series = "One Fowl Day" |Next Episode in Series = "War Wounds" |Prev Episode in Franchise = "One Fowl Day" |Next Episode in Franchise = "Fins, Femmes and Gems" |title cap image = }} Summary Autolycus stealing from a wag on full of goodies but only finds an invitation to a royal ball in Antioch for a princess. Autolycus needs a princess in order to get the prince's expensive sapphire, so he finds the showgirl, Cupcake. He tells her that it's so she can meet the prince and fall in love, but she doesn't want to. Eventually she agrees and Autolycus tries to teach her to act a like a lady. Hercules and Iolaus talk to King Georgas of Carpathia and the war against Antioch, but the king doesn't want the war to happen. A Carpathian and a man in Perthia start fighting and some guy sets the Carpathian bakery on fire. A fight scene breaks out and Hercules and Iolaus break it up. Hercules convinces the town to keep a truce and fix the bakery. Cupcake studies scrolls so she has something to talk about with the prince, but Autolycus tells her not to say anything because of her voice. She gets mad and declares that she hates him, then realized they realize she has a certain voice. They think of a name for her, but the audience doesn't find out what it is yet. Prince Alexandros gets a message from Vitron that the Carpathians have started a war when Iolaus of Corinth arrives and tells him that there is peace in town. Princess Hermia of Carpathia (Cupcake) and the king of...er... the king's advisor (Autolycus) arrives and gets arrested. Iolaus plays along and tells Alexandros that King Georgas wouldn't have sent his daughter unless there was a truce involved. Sparks fly between Alexandros and Cupcake. The guy that started the fire with the bakery tries to light it again but Hercules stops him. He says King Georgas is paying him to start the war. Iolaus has a talk with Cupcake about Autolycus' little hobby (stealing) but she doesn't believe him. During the ball Hermia and the Prince find they have a lot in common, including an interest in philosophy and literature. And she's amazingly beautiful. A woman recognizes Cupcake as a showgirl but can't remember her name. Alexandros dances with Cupcake while the woman remembers her name and tells the band to play another song. Cupcake sings like a showgirl but Alexandros is still impressed. Autolycus sees that Alexandros and Cupcake are falling in love so he gets drunk. Iolaus tells him that if he wants Cupcake, he has to tell her the truth. And get an honest job. Hercules takes the same guy to "King Georgas" and he says that the king is the one who told him to start the war personally. The real king Georgas shows up and demands to know who told the guy to start a war. Vitron is worried that if there is no war, the prince won't die in it and peace will be made between the kingdoms if Alexandros marries Hermia. Autolycus tells Cupcake that he's the king of thieves. She says she only came along so they'd have more time together but now doesn't know what to think. A servant arrives to say the Prince wants to see Princess Hermia and she leaves. Cupcake tries to tell Alexandros the truth too, but he kisses her before she can. She tries to tell him again but is interrupted when Carpathian soldiers show up and Alexandros thinks Hermia betrayed him. Vitron comes in and orders the warriors to kill them both. Alexandros gets stabbed but Autolycus saves him before he is killed. Iolaus fights off more soldiers. Hercules shows up and joins in the fight. Vitron tries to run away, but Hercules catches him. It turns out the Prince was only grazed. The soldiers are revealed to be Vitron's men in disguise. King Georgas shows up and says that Cupcake isn't his daughter. Cupcake starts crying and runs out of the room. Autolycus explains the situation to the prince, saying it's all his fault. Alexandros goes after Cupcake and finds her by the fountain. He say he loves her just as she is and asks her to marry him. Cupcake visits Autolycus to thank him. After she leaves, he says that he loves her. Autolycus tells Hercules and Iolaus that he's leaving before the official announcement of the wedding and with one shiny memory. Hercules and Iolaus see that he stole the sapphire and they go after him. Disclaimer "No bakeries were harmed during the production of this motion picture, although many pastries were burned to a crisp." Gallery File:Fair_cupcake_01.jpg|You just have to act intelligent File:Fair_cupcake_02.jpg|En route to Antioch File:Fair_cupcake_03.jpg|A message of peace File:Fair_cupcake_04.jpg|The Royal Ball File:Fair_cupcake_06.jpg|Dip File:Fair_cupcake_07.jpg|Who really put you up to this? File:Fair_cupcake_08.jpg|I love you File:Fair_cupcake_09.jpg|I thought you were the one Background Information * This episode was inspired by and named for the musical My Fair Lady. * At the end of the episode, Autolycus describes what he's going through as "harder than stealing the Kronos Stone" and "tougher than snatchin' the sandals off a' old Hermes' feet." * Autolycus mentions having been in love only one other time. This can be taken as a reference to his wife and former partner, Luscious Deluxe, who viewers first learn about and see in the sixth season episode, "Hercules, Tramps & Thieves". * At the ball one of the guests mentions that she looks familiar and while try to recall her name calls her Twinkie, Ding Ding and Ho Ho three popular snack cakes from Hostess Brands. Memorable Quotations "I've only felt this way once before." "That's funny. The same here. It just didn't work out." "Well, as somebody once told me, the person for you is out there." "Sure. All the best to you, Cupcake." "You know? I truly thought that you'd be the one for me." "Yeah, I thought so, too." exits "I love you, Cupcake." :–'Cupcake' and Autolycus "Uh, listen, I think I can offer a complete, yet brief explanation. This is all my fault." :–'Autolycus' "That is not a princess! And you're here to steal the sapphire of Antioch." "You mean it's here in the castle of Antioch? Talk about your wild coincidences." "Listen, the only reason I covered for you was to buy some time and prevent a war." "Oh, so now you need me. Well, let's start showing a little more respect for the man who's preventing a war. I oughtta get a reward, like the, uh, sapphire of Antioch?" "Look, your reward is that you're gonna be able to disappear when Hercules gets here without the jewel! Huh?! And in the meantime, keep your nose clean!" "Maybe you should stop lookin' up my nose! Heh! Of course, I guess you can't help it, huh?" :–'Iolaus' and Autolycus "One shiny blue memory." "Hey, Herc, Herc, wait. You know, things have gone so badly for him. Why not let him keep it for a while?" "Yeah, you're right." beat "Okay, that's long enough." run off :–'Hercules' and Iolaus after realizing Autolycus has stolen the Saphire of Antioch after all Links and References Guest Stars * Bruce Campbell as Autolycus * Lacey Kohl as Cupcake * Mark Raffety as Prince Alexandros Other Cast * Patrick Smith as King Georgas * Huntly Eliott as Vitron * Jason Te Kare as Flectus * Angela Shirley as Princess Hippolyta * Chic Littlewood as Attendant * Antony Martin as Antioch Man * Wade Jackson as Darsus * Bruce Davis-Goff as Carpathian Man * Campbell Rousselle as Terrorist References People * King Quallus Gods * Ares * Hermes Places * Antioch * Carpathia * Perthia Other * Kronos Stone * Sapphire of Antioch Season Navigation de:Der Prinz und die Tänzerin Category:HTLJ Season 4 episodes Category:Parody Episodes